When Carrie Richardson’s father turned 43, she admits she hoped for him to die. Instead of vibrant and full of life in his 40’s, her father was laying in his nursing home, dying.

He was diagnosed with early onset familial Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 36. His mother, Carrie’s grandmother, also died from the disease, as did his brothers. AL.com reports that her father died that very day, on his birthday.

With the genetic disease killing off her family throughout history, Richardson had no choice but to find out her fate. Three years ago, the single mother of three from Montgomery, Alabama was diagnosed, at the age of 31.

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“I didn’t think I was going to have it,” she told AL.com. “I had this weird notion that because my aunt was one of the five children who didn’t get it, that I wasn’t going to get it, too. I can’t even really describe it. I just sat there, and didn’t really show any emotion until the genetic counselor came in and talked about the chances of my children getting it. And that’s when I lost it.”

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Now, she fears the illness will cause her children to wish for her to pass, the same way she wished her father would. After a painful realization and the many tears that came along with it, she realized she needed to be the best mother she could be for her children.

She tells AL.com, “I realized I’m still here and I’m still me,” she said. “Letting my children suffer was never an option. I decided to turn a lifetime of heartache into a quest for hope.”

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Now Richardson spends plenty of her time speaking out about the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. “As horrible as this disease is, it’s given me something I never felt I had before — a voice.”

Carrie Richardson plans on continuing making her voice heard during what time she has left here with her family and loved ones.

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Here she addresses Alabama’s Dementia Care Conference 2015 in Prattville, Alabama, describing what life is like living with this disease.

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